There was a time (a long, long time ago) that I used to be colorblind to red flags.
Even red banners!
Eventually I developed tools to spot a red flag a-waving – even when it showed up as merely a red hankee.
How? I took time to explore the root of my “Red Flag Colorblindness,” and determined that a combo of 6 vulnerabilities were at fault.
If you’ve been blind to red flags, here are 6 potential reasons why!
1. You have a “blinding” desire for marriage.
You know how it’s not a good idea to text while you’re walking? After all, you’re not focused on what’s right smack in front of you – like that woman walking her poodle or that big steel pole.
Similarly, you can become blind to red flags when you’re experiencing a “blinding desire” for finding a relationship.
Unfortunately when you have your eyes focused on your “end game,” you can’t be on top of your dating game.
Basically, it’s hard to clearly see the person in front of you, when your eyes are obsessively focused on a wedding finish line.
2. You have an achilles heel.
You know the expression “achilles heel”?
It originates from the Greek mythological hero Achilles – and it’s in reference to a weakness someone has – which can become their ultimate downfall.
Unfortunately many of us have “achilles heels” when it comes to relationships.
They can show up as …
Basically, if you’re feeling insecure about an aspect of yourself, this can create self-worth issues.
The lower your self worth, the lower the bar you’ll be setting for finding a partner.
As a result, slimy snaky partners can limbo under your low-bar and slip themselves into your heart!
3. Your “comfort zone” is a “dis-comfort zone.”
Meaning?
If you grew up in a home where love came with anxiety and pain, then you might feel most comfortable with love coming with anxiety and pain.
Basically, your limiting beliefs about love can wind up limiting your happiness.
4. You’re living by the concept: “In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king.”
Back when I suffered from “Red Flag Colorblindness,” I was willing to settle for the metaphorical equivalent of a “one-eyed partner”- and not hold out for a “two-eyed partner.”
NOTE: I don’t mean to be politically incorrect with this quirky metaphor of a one-eyed partner.
I’m simply trying to find a funny way to say that I was willing to settle for a partner who was deeply-deeply-flawed – because I’d become cynical about believing in the existence of a non-deeply-deeply-flawed partner.
I kept rationalizing a partner’s bad behavior – because I just thought the metaphorical equivalent of a “one-eyed partner” was the best that was out there.
I’d tell myself things like, “Oh well, at least this guy’s got one eye. These days many guys don’t even have one eye! “
Again, apologies if you find this metaphor politically incorrect! I’m just saying that if you’re super cynical about love, then you can wind up accepting the behavior of deeply-deeply-flawed people – because you simply stopped believing that non-deeply-deeply-flawed people exist.
5. You’re too positive.
Too much positivity can get you into love trouble just as much as too much cynicism!
Surprised?
Here’s how!
If you’re a very positive person, then when you start to see red flags a-waving you might tell yourself very positive things like…
6. Terrible behavior is outside of your “mental framework.”
Basically, you’d never do something as crappy as the Red Flag Bearer is doing.
It’s thereby tough for you to process that someone is capable of doing something so crappy to you.
There’s a famous story that when Columbus first arrived to the new world, the natives could not see his ships, because the natives had never seen a boat before.
It took the natives a long time to process what they were seeing, because the concept of a “boat” was so foreign and surreal to them.
Similarly, there’s a chance you cannot see specific red flags because they’re completely outside of your “mental framework.”
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