Showing posts with label second chance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label second chance. Show all posts

Monday, August 27, 2018

5 Great Reasons to Date a Divorced Man. By Marceline Joseph

What are the benefits of dating a divorced man? Other than the fact he has plenty of life experiences, read on to find out!

“I don’t see divorce as a failure. I see it as the end to a story. In a story, everything has an end and a beginning.” ~ Olga Kurylenko, French Actress
Yes, that’s what divorce can also be, a beginning; not at all necessary that it would only put an end to everything. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, ages and status, backgrounds and nationalities; so on and so forth. If we are to talk about the plight of divorced men and throw light on the perspective that highlights the aspect of coupling up with them, then a minimal answer to this otherwise debatable topic should be “hell yes!”
But no, that’s not how it would work out. You gotta have enough reasons to support such proclamations right?

Well, here’s all you may wish to read, know, learn, and be convinced about when it comes to dating a divorced man.

1. He is likely to be more family-friendly and compassionate

We tend to crave and value things that we either have a void for or have lost in our lives. For a divorced man, the most valuable thing he has lost in the past is a family, compassion, and togetherness.
It is likely that he would long for these elements and miss those days. Now that you are confused whether to date divorced a man who has got nothing more to lose in life, the answer is right there in front of you … “go ahead”.

2. Your man is beyond most of the “boyfriend” stereotypes

A divorced man has already been a boyfriend to someone, or at least a husband to a woman with whom things didn’t work well. That’s a different context though. But the point is mature, has seen his share of sunrises and sunsets and is, more than like, a ‘catch.’
A man who had been through calamities concerning his conjugal life and learned from his mistakes will bring to you a bundle of joy wrapped in his gesture, maturity and more responsible attitude – making your life an entire garden itself, filled with love in its truest sense.

3. He is likely to understand your needs better

Most of the time it’s not the materialistic gifts that invoke love and passion in us, but it’s the gift of compassion and care that we all crave for. However, we cannot force a partner to be this sensible all the time, could we? There’s no thrill in it. But you know what could be expected when dating a divorced man? A sensible attitude and responses made to fulfill the need for love and happiness.
The reason is simple; he has been through a roller coaster ride in his past. No book can educate men in understanding women unless it’s the woman herself. Now that he knows how to value a woman’s needs and distinguish them from the term “desire”, he’s going to keep you happy by understanding and responding to your needs which is much beyond a shopping or a movie date.

4. If he decides to marry for a second time, it’s likely to last for a lifetime

Marriage is no child’s play, and especially the second time around. A man who has failed to protect his first marriage is a man who would leave no stone unturned to ensure a conjugal life that lasts for a lifetime if he gets married again.
The reason is quite clear. If he has decided to get married for the second time it’s because he has learned from his past. He wouldn’t be taking the plunge again if he weren’t sure of himself and his ability to succeed a second time.

5. A divorced man is likely to debunk few myths, only to make you stronger

For example, he might just break a stereotype and dispel the most common myth of cupidity that says “love at first sight” or “yes, he is the one”. A divorced man willing to date is a real live example of how love cannot be confined or put into brackets. Isn’t it still better to have your myths broken and dispelled than your heart?
If you too are suffering heartbreak or have suffered it in the past, then being with a divorced man will help you explore things beyond first love and how this wonderful feeling can grow with each passing day – if you have the right partner by your side.
To wrap up: at the end of the day, it is you who will decide whether or not to date a divorced man. You will choose your kind of happiness. Life is like a storybook; just make sure that you are on the right page with someone who could help to build up the plot further. Good luck!

Marceline Joseph is a psychiatrist and also an academic writer associated with Assignment Help Company. Not only a counselor and a writer, Marceline is also known to have a flair for composing short poems and stories for children.

Monday, July 30, 2018

Why I Admire Gwyneth’s 'Give It A Go' Attitude To Her Second Marriage by Rachel Taylor

After the “conscious uncoupling” (i.e. separating) announcement a few years ago, we are probably quick to cringe at Gwyneth Paltrow’s choice of words. So, when last week she said she was going to “give [marriage] a go” again, maybe we rolled our eyes a bit and thought the words told us everything we needed to know about typical celebrity flippant-ness towards the union.
But I don’t think anyone approaches marriage without a big, heavy dose of seriousness. Starting with the tens of thousands invested in the wedding itself and followed by the hardly unambitious goal of living happily ever after, it couldn’t be much more loaded.
So, if like me, you know what it feels like to embark on a second marriage, you might think that “give it a go” instills a bit of refreshing lightness into proceedings - and that, in my view, is heartily helpful for anyone starting again.
Why?
First of all, “give it a go” means having the courage to try – and fail - again
Gwyneth has spoken about overcoming feelings of failure resulting from her divorce. Any marriage - celebrity or not - that doesn’t work out feels like very public failure. Most of us don’t have to endure having our marriage breakdown discussed online, but we still feel that everyone (from the school gate acquaintances to your parents’ friends and distant relatives) is talking about it and speculating on what went wrong.
And that’s all just amplified when you do it a second time. I remember a twice-divorced friend ruefully telling me to be “sure” when I embarked on No. 2, because “people forgive you your first divorce, but the second is definitely you”. Unfortunately those words, and knowing that many would brand me a failure, only made me resist for far too long the difficult truth that I had to leave my second husband.
Second, “give it a go” is realistic
While we may be older and wiser, sadly the odds of “not-first” marriages lasting are against us, with an estimated 67% of second and 73% of third marriages ending in divorce.
There are lots of reasons why. For a start, children (usually from a first marriage) create glue and a shared bond. One of the saddest things about a divorce is that you no longer have someone to share your limitless (and often pretty boring to others) interest in your children. This unconditional love (and the inevitable time and attention involved) is a complicated rift to navigate with a new partner because it is so hard for them not to feel excluded.
Another thing is that while an early marriage sees us growing up and moulding together, when we are older compromise is less easy. Prue Leith, for example, has spoken about how she favours living separately (usually not financially an option but one that many of us can see the attraction of) from her second husband so that she can live the way she wants to and doesn’t have to put up with his “clobber”.
Third, “give it a go” acknowledges that we don’t know what life will throw at us
I hope Gwyneth’s second shot at marriage goes well but if it doesn’t, it may well be little to do with “her” or “him” and be simply because difficult stuff happens in life. Disability is one of the things that makes divorce more likely. Redundancy (not likely, I know, to hit Gwyneth) can also increase the odds of divorce. These things are out of our control but put massive pressure on a relationship through absolutely no fault of our own.
Despite all this, I take inspiration from of friend of mine’s mother who, now in her mid-80s, finally found lasting happiness in her fourth marriage with a man she met on the internet ten years ago. If she hadn’t kept “giving it a go”, she would be alone and lonely. Instead, to the joy of her children, she is happier than she has ever been.
I haven’t given up on love and hope one day to be married again and if I do, I’ll be going into it with Gwyneth’s realistic words ringing joyfully in my ears. And that, I think, will be giving it the best chance of success.https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/why-i-admire-gwyneths-give-it-a-go-attitude-to-her-second-marriage_uk_5a5c9e2be4b003efadb6afa6?utm_hp_ref=uk-marriage