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#AskMel: Should I stay in this relationship? | Mel Robbins

5 Signs that Tell You When It’s Time to Leave a Relationship. By Ash Osborne

Relationships can be tricky. They’re amazing when they’re going well but if something happens, or you’re on a rocky road, they can be painful. If you’ve been with someone a long time, you can start to get stuck in a routine. You might not necessarily notice the behaviour of your other half because it’s become the norm to you. Taking a step back and looking at your relationship from a different viewpoint can be really beneficial and help you to gain perspective on a scenario.

There is no ‘perfect’ relationship. Even the happiest of couples can have arguments, disagreements and temporary breakups. That’s life. But there is a time when you have to look at your relationship without rose-tinted glasses and see if those small arguments are actually escalating into massive rows. Sometimes, you have to leave a relationship and put yourself first to be happy. So, Psych2Go shares 5 signs that tell you when it’s time to leave a relationship.

1) You’re consistently unhappy.

Any relationship, be it friends, family or romantic, should bring you happiness. You should look forward to seeing your partner, and enjoy spending time with them. Obviously, you can’t be constantly happy in a relationship because that’s not realistic. But you should feel supported, safe and loved. If you start to feel consistently unhappy, maybe it‘s time to ask yourself why. Maybe it’s you, or it may be your partner. It‘s good to understand why you’re feeling unhappy so you can either fix the problem or choose to leave. There is no shame to admit that your relationship is not offering you the same support and contentment that it once was.

2) You’re travelling on different paths.

Sometimes, you can start a relationship in one place. But as you grow, you can change mindsets. Long-term relationships can be amazing as you can grow and change with your partner, but sometimes you can grow and change at a different rate to your partner. If you’re moving in different directions to your partner, it can be difficult to navigate a relationship. Also, if you’re in a different place emotionally, you might not want the same things. In this case, it’s best for both of you to separate amicably. It’s a good thing to discuss what each of you wants from a relationship if you’re going to be serious about a partner.

3) Lack of support

In a relationship, support is key. You want to feel that your partner believes in what you’re doing and is behind you 100%. But if that support isn’t there, you can start to feel let down and unfulfilled. Emotional support is also really important. If you’re not feeling that in your relationship, it can be damaging and can affect your happiness. If you don’t feel like your partner is invested in you and is behind you all the way, then it might be time to consider having a conversation about your relationship with your partner.

4) Abuse of any sort

By this, I mean emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and so on. If your partner has abused you in any way, then that is a clear sign you should, at least, consider leaving. Abuse is very damaging, and the abuser can often try and convince you to stay in the relationship. If this is the case, you should leave for your own safety. It can be very difficult to leave a relationship like that, but there are hotlines available to contact should you need to. Here is the link to a document with the number of any hotlines should you feel you need to use them. Remember, you’re not alone in this.

5) Lack of trust

The foundation of all relationships should be trust. The trust between you and your partner should be strong. If it isn’t, that could mean you doubt their actions. As a result, this could possibly lead to jealousy. If you don’t trust your partner, you could work on it and try to rebuild it. Losing trust is often a sign that something is wrong within your relationship, and you’ll need to address it. However, if you’re past the rebuilding phase (maybe your partner betrayed your trust too many times), ending the relationship could be a possibility. There is no shame admitting you can’t be with someone you don’t fully trust. It’s all about what makes you happy.

https://psych2go.net/5-signs-that-tell-you-when-its-time-to-leave-a-relationship/

10 Marital Problems That Cause Divorce. BY CATHY MEYER

Is your marriage plagued with any of these problems?

All marriages are impacted by problems. Marital problems cause couples to seek a divorce on a daily basis. Whether or not a marriage survives when a problem hits depends on the problem and how a couple decides to deal with that problem

Couples who are able to work together in resolving conflict are more likely to be able to save their marriage. Couples who lack the proper conflict resolution skills may find themselves in divorce court for problems that could have easily been solved.

Below is a list of 10 marital problems that may cause divorce 

Consider how you are currently dealing with these issues, and how you could better deal with these issues for the sake of your marriage.

1. Money problems.

Most couples argue over bills, debt, spending, and other financial issues. How you decide to deal with money problems in your marriage will determine whether those problems has a negative or positive effect on your marriage.

If Jane loves Gucci shoes and Dick has a blue collar job, Jane and Dick are going to face having to resolve the problem of Jane's expensive taste and Dick's low income. I wouldn't put money on Dick winning that argument and more than likely, Jane has poor conflict resolving skills. I'm sure that Jane will be disappointed when she finds out that alimony is hard to get these days and even if she did, it wouldn't cover the cost of a new pair of Gucci sandals.

2. Children.

Discipline, diet, and other parenting issues can be sources of disagreement between couples. A child is the number one stressor in a marriage and can accentuate differences in beliefs on issues like how to discipline, who is responsible for most of the child care or what educational options to choose.

And, there is the matter of lost sleep, who has to change dirty diapers, run after them when they start walking and the exorbitant cost of daycare. It's easy to see who children can put a strain on even the best marriage. 

3. Sex.

Frequency, quantity, quality, and infidelity are all common sources of stress and disharmony in a marriage. Withholding sex to punish a spouse, breaks the marital bond. Cheating on a spouse destroys trust. Sex can be a HUGE issue when it comes to undoing the vows you took. 

Sex is wonderful until it isn't anymore!

4. Time apart.

Time apart and a lack of quality time together causes couples to become out of sync with each other. Having shared interests and activities you participate in on a regular basis helps couples stay connected. 

Military couples fall victim to this problem in their marriages. Enduring long deployments and constant temporary assignments away from home couples have to have a special bond for a marriage to last. 

5. Household Responsibilities.

Many couples argue over equitable distribution of household work, and how to do it. Instead of sitting down and dividing household chores fairly they quibble over who did or didn’t do what. Don't quibble or divide up chores, you're adults, if you see something that needs to be done, do it.

Or, decide together to split household chores based on those you each enjoy or can tolerate the best.

6. Friends.

Not all friends are helpful to relationships some of them are toxic. Be sure you know the difference between a friend who will enhance your relationship and one who will break it down.

7. Irritating habits.

Many people are married to someone who has one or more habits they find undesirable. My ex never got angry with me. I ask him once why and told him there had to be things I did that irritated him. He responded by telling me he “loved everything about me.” This was shortly before he decided he no longer loved me! So, don’t be afraid to point out habits that irritate you, just be sure you do it in a non-defensive way.

8. Family.

In-laws, siblings, children and step-children can all create stress within a marriage.

When coping with negative issues because of family step gently. Our spouse should come first but there are times you have to be willing to take a backseat and bite your tongue.

9. Expectations.

We all go into marriage with certain expectations. Most of the time, marriage is the opposite of what we expected. We romanticize marriage and become disillusioned once those romantic expectations aren’t met. Unmet expectations are a major source of conflict in marriages.

10. Personality conflicts.

Is your personality ruining your marriage? There are personality traits that can doom a marriage to failure. Are you a conflict avoider? Do you like to “one-up your spouse? Do you bend over backward to please your spouse, neglecting your needs in the process? If you answered yes to any of these, your need to work on changes these negative personality traits.

Each of the above is a very common problem dealt with in a marriage. Although they are problems, they can also be opportunities for growth, learning, and accord. Whether these issues remain problems causing stress in your marriage or become an opportunity for growth is up to you.

https://www.liveabout.com/marital-problems-that-cause-divorce-1102945